“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” –
Shakespeare - Queen Gertrude, in Hamlet, act 3, sc. 2. l. 230
I had the opportunity to read some really inane posts on YouTube the other day as I was searching for a particular video. I have spoken before about the concept that everything can have its own artistic merit, whether or not everyone likes it. The challenge is just how stupid we can look when defending a certain genre, or artist. The artists in question weren’t as important as the language and ferocity of the attitudes present. It was that if you liked “X” artist you were cool, and if you liked “Y” artist you were stupid. Artist “X” is a very successful heavy metal artist. Artist “Y” is a very successful pop performer with a much younger demographic. The person writing the post wanted to create a campaign to go onto artist “Y”s videos and dislike them, so that it received more dislikes than likes. I think at the time I was more embarrassed than afraid. You see the demographic of artist “X” is probably twice to three times the age of the demographic of artist “Y”. That would indicate that an adult made these comments, and actually wanted to waste his time and others putting down someone else. And I couldn’t help but wonder why…
When I was a kid, I had music in my head all the time. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing there was always a song playing. Now, as strange as this may seem, I was always paranoid that someone else could hear the songs in my head. I don’t know what made me think that, because I couldn’t hear their music. But I was always paranoid that on a day that I’m decked out in my Rush shirt they would hear in my head that I’m randomly listening to something else. Instead of “The Spirit Of Radio” I have “Tragedy” by the Bee Gees stuck in my head. In truth in my opinion both are good for very different reasons, and at this age I don’t care if someone sees that differently. They can’t hear the songs in my head. But when you’re a kid, and image matters, you don’t want to be ridiculed for any reason.
So I would mentally change the station in my head if there was something different playing than what was expected. Does it sound crazy? Sure it does for the time, but I’m sure at this age if that is the least of my problems I’m doing ok. I was a metal head, and Heaven forbid I’m caught with “Afternoon Delight” by the Starland Vocal Band in my head… So these songs took on new form in my life, as I’m sure they have in others as well. They became known as “guilty pleasures” and they were songs that you would listen to only when you were alone, and could enjoy them for the mindless, guilt-free enjoyment that they brought you. It goes back to when you’re a kid, you feel you have to fit in, or explain everything away so that you don’t end up at the other end of someone’s fist, or the loser table at lunch.
Statistically, I know that everyone out there has at least a few guilty pleasures in their iPods. Hell, I have an entire collection like that. And the reason that I know that everyone has them is this…
As an example… Remember “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice. Now more recently it has become a retro dance song that still gets airplay, but do you know anyone that actually bought it in 1990? Or more to the point admitted they liked it? Think hard… thought so…can’t name very many people can you…?
Well, the RIAA [Recording Industry Association Of America] certified the single as “Platinum” for sales of 1,000,000. So that means that one million people bought it. In 1990, when the single was released, the population of the United States is listed as 248,709,000. That would mean statistically 1 person for roughly every 249 bought the single. Who are these people, and where did they go? I could name 249 people in my own home town, and I’m willing to bet that none of them would have copped to buying it.
But the stats show that at least one of them did. You see, I’m willing to bet that some of them did, and they listened when no one was listening. And that’s ok. I’m willing to bet that as they got older they realized that other’s opinions really didn’t matter and they actually played it out loud!... And if you’re like my wife and I, you may have played a song for your kids and then were reminded by them that you’re not cool, and you never were. Such is parenting in a modern age… Don’t worry, when they have kids, remember to pull out the soundtrack to “High School Musical” and remind them how much they used to love it, and dance to it. And make sure their kids know too, because karma works...and it will catch up with them eventually.
Now one of the biggest guilty pleasures I have ever seen is the often maligned 80’s hair bands. For my simple research on this one I go back to the DJ shows that I have done. I note that no matter how buttoned up and conservative the crowd is [especially the female attendees], if you play anything from that era, it can become a free for all. The same people you just watched gracefully dancing to a romantic song by Van Morrison are now head banging on the dance floor with their shoes off [and occasionally some clothing as well…] and their hair whipping everywhere. They know the words, they recreate the moves from the videos and they sing at the top of their lungs…sometimes from on top of the chairs or tables.
Be it Poison, Whitesnake [I have seen someone try and recreate the dancing on the Jaguar on their table…it was not pretty…], Twisted Sister, Winger, Guns ‘N Roses, and even though I don’t really consider them hair metal, Def Leppard. There’s not a girl in the room that doesn’t know the words to “Pour Some Sugar On Me” and if you throw out “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC, you can pretty much anticipate what’s going to happen. And as you watch them move you realize that they don’t care who is watching. And that’s the best part, because they were able to finally let loose and enjoy themselves.
For every listen that someone gives to Metallica’s “Master Of Puppets”…someone in that group is also listening to Madonna, or a Schubert symphony, or Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five”. Or they have a small child and are listening to “The Wheels On The Bus”[over and over and over again…]. In the end it doesn’t really matter. The point of the music is to uplift your spirits, make you think, maybe teach you something, and in the end become yours, because everyone interprets things differently. And what you hear might not be what they hear, and vice-versa, but it’s all good. But only you can decide if you like it, and no one else. And as far as the image… no one really cares, so why should you?... You define the image…it doesn’t define you.
So the radio station in my head eventually got a new program director and the format went free-form. Just today it went like this… Iron Maiden/Gordon Lightfoot/Tommy Tutone/Destiny’s Child [I have to thank my wife for that one…She sang the intro to Bootylicious at the ball fields the other day…]/Dream Theater/Brad Paisley/Stealer’s Wheel/Whitesnake/Loreena McKennitt/England Dan & John Ford Coley/Rush/and Within Temptation, and that was just the first hour. I’m sure yours was just as diverse, and as much fun.
And that guy on YouTube who said that to be cool you must be a metal head and everything else is cheese… well he’s probably home right now as we speak listening to Yanni. He just won’t admit it…
Thanks for coming along for the ride…See you soon.
J.
I'm very concerned you may have "Afternoon Delight" playing in you head. That is just not right.
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